sebuah kata : penempatan.

jam 1.09 pagi
Hotel Borobudur kamar 948...
masih terbangun.


Kurang dari 48 jam yang lalu, penempatan akhirnya keluar...ya, penempatan yang udah 10 bulan ditunggu-tunggu, akhirnya datang juga. Dari beberapa minggu lalu emang udah kesebar gosip penempatan bakal keluar, but nobody knew the exact time. Udah semingguan lebih ini, lagi terkuras pikiran dan fisik gue buat acara workshop evaluasi OJT di DJP sampai autis sama dunia luar :((...acara ini bener2 menguras pikiran dan fisik banget...baru kali ini ngadain acara besar dengan persiapan efektif seminggu saja. What an incredible team! Alhamdulillah acara berakhir lancar walaupun banyak kekurangan disana-sini, It's a very big lesson for me. Pas hari 1 malam workshop dimana gue masih sibuk ngurusin acara tiba2 aja, temen2 sesama panitia ngabarin kalau penempatan udah diuplod di website kantor. LEMAS-lah gue....udah ga konsen ngerjain apa-apa. Sampai pada akhirnya ada peserta workshop yang ngasih tau kalau penempatan gue di kantor pusat, Alhamdulillah dapet disuatu direktorat :)...phewwww...rasanya beban ini plooong lepas dari pundak gue selama ini.

Penempatan ini bener2 ngajarin gue buat selalu ikhlas ngejalanin hidup. Berdoa dan berusaha, pasti ada jawaban untuk segala kesusahan yang kita alami
...ada beberapa teman dekat yang harus pergi ke luar Jakarta. Sedih banget itu pasti...tapi gue berharap gue masih bisa kontak sama mereka dan hal itu mengajarkan bahwa gue harus terbiasa dengan perpisahan...maybe one day, i'm going to be like them, who knows??? ini sudah risiko yang gue ambil. Ikhlas, ara...ikhlas ara....i have people that i love, my family, that should be enough,,,i don't care about anything...i'm healing myself and i do believe my family and closest friends care about me, the rest of it doesn't matter...selamat tinggal, masa lalu...

off to bed...
xoxo
ara

Goodluck for all of Us!!!

I wish good luck for all CPNS DJP in "Prajabatan" everywhere you are (Jakarta, Medan, Palembang, Malang, Manado, Cirebon, Balikpapan Yogyakarta, have i mentioned all of the location???), hoh well..doesn't matter, I WISH FOR OUR SUCCESS!!. One step closer, guys...I'm praying that we all pass it and be ready for the placement...amen



eniweeiii my top 10 feelings to start this week:
1) I can't wait for Prajabatan...want to get it done ASAP
2) I have to watch Lenka's concert @jakartaa :D
3) I want bubble drink, badly!!
4) My stomach hurt due to my monthly period
5) I currently quiet addict with twitter heheheh
6) OJT evaluation workshop is on the way,,,hope i will contribute more!!
7) I haven't heard his news in a week or two ...
8) I like the attention, by the way :)
9) I have to read read more...
10)I feel like i'm losing my "Law" sense...



hoaahmmm
xoxo

After holiday...

Jakarta during Lebaran Holiday????...yippieee no traffic jam!!! i only spent an hour to go to my office this morning (WITH PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!!!) Cibubur-Kuningan, What a miracle :P...I LOVE JAKARTA's TRAFFIC (only Thursday and Friday this week :P)

I found that I miss my office...I miss my fellow interns!!hahaha...i just enjoyed every moment with them...:), knowing that we're running out of time before the placement is announced (which is soon!!).

Yep first day after lebaran holiday, the office still quiet, people still on leave. Our office is currently being renovated. so i moved to the 5th floor. But sadly, they haven't provided the desk of the interns :(...but then we went to the rooftop yaayy..raisin' up my mood!!although my office only 5-stories building but you've got to see the jakarta's scenery from up here...!!


After that, we decided to go to check the place for "Prajabatan" @ somewhere in Tanjung Barat. After that we went to nearest "Puskesmas" to get health confirmation letter. Dhika, teteh, and riko must went up and downstairs due to their low blood pressure, quiet funny guys hihihihihi...end up luncheon time @rawon setan :D


Well..it will be a hard month the next October...I was appointed to become one of the organizing committee for OJT evaluation workshop that will be held on the middle of October..thank God i had been given the opportunity to meet new people and new experience...still many task to be finished, i hope the workshop will be success...amen

cheers everyone
xoxo
Ara

saying Goodbye is never been easy...

i can't believe i'm starting to write this blog in the early of September with another sad story...

But first of all, let me tell you beginning of it,
Well, i forgot the time but i think it's around 5 years ago, I got a Persian cat from my sis bf's friend. He preferred to raise a dog rather than a cat. I was offered to raise that cat. I said, ok. Couple days later, that cat was arrived @my house but it was placed inside a bag! that cat is terrified and shocked i guessed. But the moment i saw it, i knew that cat was never been raised in a happy place. That cat looked afraid and for the next couple days, that cat didn't want to be near people.

I named him, Bulu...my fams often called it bul bul...

year passes by...i loved bulu very much. Although Bulu was unlike the other Persian cat (because of before it was raised by my family, i doubt that it was taken care with love by the previous owner), but i'm pretty sure that bulu got all the love from my family.

I lost Bulu a couple times. He run away from my yard and escaped through the open fence. The longest gone is about three days and miraculously Bulu came back home!! i thought he never came back.

Bulu like some of extraordinary food. Besides cat food, Bulu like "tempe", "tahu", "chesee" :P...i loved when i see his eyes sparked every time that food is served.

Bulu was very close to my mom. He only obeyed my mom :) i like when i saw both of the in the morning. My mom was in the garden and watering the plants while Bulu stood near her, waiting for her to gave food.

Bulu like to sleep under the car on my yard, his favorite place and when me or member of my fams went home and opened the fence, he will showed up and followed us inside the house:)...

Last August, Bulu was sick, he looked thinner and didn't want to eat. On sunday midnite, his condition was very weak, he even could't walk. He just sleep and breathed very slowly. I cried that day and i thought i will lost him. I decided to take him to the vet clinic on 1.am in the morning. The vet said that it will be hard to save him :'(. I said that i will give the vet a shot to save my Bulu...

I'm supposed to see Bulu on Wed 2nd Sept, but i wanted to see him the night before...but suddenly it was raining heavily until midnight. That made me cancel the visit. I felt like something bad will happen to him, but i stayed optimist that he will be all right and will come home soon.

The next day i was sitting at my chair @ office trying to concentrate to my task. But i can't, and then i texted the vet to say that i will come that night and if Bulu needed the extension to stay at the clinic, i will paid for the bill also. Few minutes later, the vet said that bulu didn't survived. He suffered from diarrhea and also there were heart and lung's complication. Bulu's age also affected his resistances to the sickness. On 2nd of Sept, my beloved cat bulu has passed away T_T...after three days of struggling in the vet.clinic.

I saw his cute face for the last time T__T, he was buried in the vet clinic.

Bulu is more than a pet for my fams, he has brought happiness and laughter to my fams. It will be hard to replace him.

Although it's hard, i'm relieved that bulu didn't suffer in any longer time and i have done my best to save his life

Goodbye, Bulu... I Love You very much...

xoxo
ara

I LIKE THIS...READ IT...

di buku kumpulan surat cinta, salah satunya ada tulisan dari Raditya Dika...wow amat sangat dalam (hiperbola...) maknanya,,,suka banget sama tulisan dari Raditya Dika ini...

Kepada kamu,
Dengan penuh kebencian.

Aku benci jatuh cinta. Aku benci merasa senang bertemu lagi dengan kamu, tersenyum malu-malu, dan menebak-nebak, selalu menebak-nebak. Aku benci deg-degan menunggu kamu online. Dan di saat kamu muncul, aku akan tiduran tengkurap, bantal di bawah dagu, lalu berpikir, tersenyum, dan berusaha mencari kalimat-kalimat lucu agar kamu, di seberang sana, bisa tertawa. Karena, kata orang, cara mudah membuat orang suka denganmu adalah dengan membuatnya tertawa. Mudah-mudahan itu benar.

Aku benci terkejut melihat SMS kamu nongol di inbox-ku dan aku benci kenapa aku harus memakan waktu begitu lama untuk membalasnya, menghapusnya, memikirkan kata demi kata. Aku benci ketika jatuh cinta, semua detail yang aku ucapkan, katakan, kirimkan, tuliskan ke kamu menjadi penting, seolah-olah harus tanpa cacat, atau aku bisa jadi kehilangan kamu. Aku benci harus berada dalam posisi seperti itu. Tapi, aku tidak bisa menawar, ya?

Aku benci harus menerjemahkan isyarat-isyarat kamu itu. Apakah pertanyaan kamu itu sekadar pancingan atau retorika atau pertanyaan biasa yang aku salah artikan dengan penuh percaya diri? Apakah kepalamu yang kamu senderkan di bahuku kemarin hanya gesture biasa, atau ada maksud lain, atau aku yang-sekali lagi-salah mengartikan dengan penuh percaya diri?

Aku benci harus memikirkan kamu sebelum tidur dan merasakan sesuatu yang bergerak dari dalam dada, menjalar ke sekujur tubuh, dan aku merasa pasrah, gelisah. Aku benci untuk berpikir aku bisa begini terus semalaman, tanpa harus tidur. Cukup begini saja.

Aku benci ketika kamu menempelkan kepalamu ke sisi kepalaku, saat kamu mencoba untuk melihat sesuatu di handycam yang sedang aku pegang. Oh, aku benci kenapa ketika kepala kita bersentuhan, aku tidak bernapas, aku merasa canggung, aku ingin berlari jauh. Aku benci aku harus sadar atas semua kecanggungan itu…, tapi tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa.

Aku benci ketika logika aku bersuara dan mengingatkan, “Hey! Ini hanya ketertarikan fisik semata, pada akhirnya kamu akan tahu, kalian berdua tidak punya anything in common,” harus dimentahkan oleh hati yang berkata, “Jangan hiraukan logikamu.”

Aku benci harus mencari-cari kesalahan kecil yang ada di dalam diri kamu. Kesalahan yang secara desperate aku cari dengan paksa karena aku benci untuk tahu bahwa kamu bisa saja sempurna, kamu bisa saja tanpa cela, dan aku, bisa saja benar-benar jatuh hati kepadamu.

Aku benci jatuh cinta, terutama kepada kamu. Demi Tuhan, aku benci jatuh cinta kepada kamu. Karena, di dalam perasaan menggebu-gebu ini; di balik semua rasa kangen, takut, canggung, yang bergumul di dalam dan meletup pelan-pelan…

aku takut sendirian.


"Taken From: Buku Kepada Cinta
This Letter written By Raditya Dika"

magic lamp magic friendship^^

WEW...I'm sooo happy todaaayyy...got a present from iponn^^...a TRAIN LAMP!!!
well actually i've seen this unique train lamp a couple of times in one of mall in Jakarta...but I only passed the store and just have quick look at it. But one day, me and ipon looked in front of that store, and I said that i like that lamp, maybe for other people it was ordinary but for me it's not hehehe...i like something unique, vintage, and stuffs like that. And then Ipon said that "hmm, i will buy it for ur birthday"..well i said oke then. We entered the store and saw the lamp...i directly fell in love with it^^ .

But later on, ipon texted, and said that that lamp have already been sold...hwahhh...well maybe that lamp wasn't meant for me hoho...a little bit dissapointed and maybe i'll find it somewhere else later.

but today, when i opened ipon's birtday gift today, i was surprised that it was that lamp...Ipon said she found it in another store
huaaa thankss for the efforts T__T, bestie ...

my wish list...

Semoga bisa direalisasikan dalam jangka pendek maupun panjang :)...(can be changed, added, deleted and watever i want :P)

1. Pergi ke rumah Allah...haji dan umroh sama keluarga...amin
2. Bisa dapet beasiswa keluar (major: rahasia ahahaha)
3. Jadi Kasubdit...disalah satu direktorat di kantor pusat...
4. Find a good, honest man, imam gue,,,yang menerima gue dan keluarga apa adanya :)
5. Belajar desain
6. Ikut perkumpulan pencinta hewan
7. Ikut kelas tari...jazz hip hop
8. Backpacker ke Ujung Genteng
9. Wisata ke Karimun Jawa with friends and my (future) boyfriend,,,
10.Les bahasa inggris (lagi)
11.Beli mobil marcedes kuno...black one and jok kulit warna coklat muda hmhmhm...
12.pergi liat panda and koala :P...

Tentang Rasa Kangen,,,

...sebulan ini gue masuk ke rutinitas baru. Sebuah rutinitas yang mengharuskan gue lebih mandiri, lebih serius, dan lebih dewasa. Masuk ke lingkungan baru, belajar suatu subyek yang baru, dan teman baru yang membuat hari semakin berwarna dan menantang. Setiap hari disadarkan dengan rutinitas yang tampaknya menjemukan, mulai dari bangun pagi, antri mandi, berangkat ke pusdiklat, belajar sampai sore, balik ke kostan, ngerjain kerjaan rutin di kostan (nyuci sendiri, nyetrika, beresin kamar, dll...dll), belajar malam, tidur, bangun pagi lagi dan mengulangi rutinitas diatas lagi. To be honest, sedikit kaget pada awalnya...dan sampai sekarang masih, terkadang masih membayangkan hidup gue dua bulan yang lalu,,,tiga bulan yang lalu,,,empat bulan yang lalu,,,kehidupan sekarang jauuh berbeda dari dulu...i haven't decided whether it is much better or worse than my life before.

Tapi...akhir-akhir ini gue sering merasa terjebak dalam rutinitas dan cenderung merasa bosan dan capek. Bingung mesti berkeluh kesah sama siapa dan to be honest...ga terlalu suka whining (but now i often did it). Balik lagi kalo gini keadaannya, gue suka bertanya ke diri gue sendiri, kenapa sih gue?ada apa sih sama diri gue? apa gue tipe pembosan?.

Harus mencoba mensyukuri segala yang diberikan Allah dan harus memotivasi diri. Terkadang gue meminta orang untuk memotivasi diri gue tapi gue sadar kalau motivasi itu ga dateng dari luar,,,tapi dari dalam diri kita sendiri. Tapi sampai sekarang gue belum bisa untuk melakukannya...
Allah SWT...please guide me through this path till the end and show me the right way in facing life ahead, i nees to have faith and confidence in me...amen

I’m a "MISS" person...

Wheew…two more days, I’ll be entering new environment (agaiinnnn)…what people called “Diklat”. Umm…gonna miss PKPI (miss the treaty, miss the reading time, miss answering phone from lawfirms and tax consultant :P), miss the bus in the morning, miss the morning sleep, miss the basement canteen, miss what people said “Sogo Jongkok” :P, miss my sensitive time and my bad mood (I’m trying to get rid of those during diklat!!)… but most of all I’m gonna miss my fellow internship friends, miss lunch talk with the girls from around java and sumatera (hehehe my new friends,,,dhika, tika, ratih, asih,tutik, anis, dewi, ana, ade), girls rule!!, miss the gossip…although we just met, they’re my new family, I found new perspective, I found new experience.

Hopefully I still can write my blog,,,

xoxo
ara

What I Choose...

I choose not to regret the past.

I choose to make the past as my learning lesson.

I choose to be a better person.


I choose not to take other people for granted

I choose to pray for the happiness of people that I care about

I choose to be a better person.


I choose not to pull myself from my friends, family, and society

I choose to learn much more about life

I choose to be a better person.

I did what I hate...

Kenapa akhir-akhir ini gue sering banget nangis ya? Terkadang hal-hal yang dulu menurut gue anti banget buat ditangisin, eh sekarang-sekarang ini kok jadi gue tangisi. Terkadang merasa diri ini lemah dan sensitif banget..sebeeel ketika merasa seperti ini. Rasanya agak sumpek di Jakarta dan mesti cabut sebentar dari peredaran somewhere else not in JAKARTA!!

ara

10 things I hate the most:

1. Being deceived

2. My bad mood shows up

3. Being ignored

4. cockroach

5. Being outsider

6. Waiting the uncertainty

7. Being worried all the time

8. Being abandoned

9. Being lonely

10. Crying

Balada Burung Tempur

HAHAHAHA intermezo sedikit dari dufan kemariinn

First day as "Pengangguran"

Huff...judul yang enggak banget sebenernya, tapi apa boleh buat itu kenyataan yang sebenernya kalau sekarang gue sedang temporarily menganggur karena nunggu pengumuman masuk DJP Depkeu tapi it's ok, gue akan memaksimalkan waktu istirahat ini. Pagi ini memutuskan untuk pergi ke Perpustakaan Depdiknas tapi ternyata hari ini perpus itu ramai dan ternyata ga bisa internetan lagi...harus jadi member (huhuhuhu capek deh)...akhirnya setelah ngisi2 formulir plus kasih fc.ktp dan foto 2x3, gue ternyata mesti nunggu seminggu untuk proses verifikasi (hwalaaah gratis siih tapi tetep aja mau jadi member kok ribed). Hwahh,,,terus rasanya agak beda dari terakhir gue kesana, ACnya udah ga terlalu dingin dan udah ga bisa nonton saluran BBC (apa lagi rusak ga tau deh), well sediki kecewa. Kalau ipikir-pikir, dijakarta susah banget nemu perpustakaan yang pewe. Sebenarnya si tiap wilayah Jakarta ada perpustakaan masing2, sejauh ini sih gue cuma baru ke perpustakaan nasional dan perpustakaan Depdiknas aja sih tapi gue belum pernah nemu perpustakaan yang oke baik dari segi pelayanan serta fasilitasnya. Seharusnya perpustakaan bisa menumbuhkan semangat membaca dan juga harus dilengkapi teknologi (akses internet yang memadai ga cuma buat pengguna komputer jinjing atau member's only). Jadi tadi akhirnya gue cuma sebentar disana...mmm...mungkin harus menjelajah ke perpustakaan lainnya diwilayah DKI Jakarta.

xoxo

Ara

Girls meeting (sure!!)

I love to hang out with my girl friends. It like you can do and talk anything, starting from man, books, movies, until gossip. We can share everything and may be adviced in girls point of view :)...also share experiences in the relationship. For me,,,I was like ZERO point in relationship kinda stuff (hahaha to be honest)...

For me...most of all, friendship are precious. Man can easily come and go but friends stay forever :)...I believe that too...although sometimes it is tough to choose to spend time with your boyfriend or your friends at the same time. We have to balance those two things.

Bye Bye BEI...:)

Last day @the office,,,bye-bye,,,gotta face this day...SEMANGAATT!! I don't know what I feel today but one thing for sure,,,definitely new chapter where I have to face new responsibilities and also new challanges of my life.

Wanna end this up nicely and professionally.

Starting tomorrow I will read more and learn more...

xoxo
ara

Entering New Chapter of My Life.....

Huyaaaaa,,,,it's one day to go before my resignation from my office. Pheww...tahun 2008 bener-bener tahun perjuangan buat gue. There are lots of blessings and also disappointment in 2008 especially in my career. Starting with my decision to resign to my previous work place "disuatu perusahaan property" after 3 long months of consideration duntuk memulai suatu kehidupan yang baru which is masuk dunia per "lawfirm"an...Tapi pada saat yang bersamaan gue juga berusaha buat masuk dua Departemen idaman semua orang "Ministry of Foreign Affairs a.k.a Deplu" dan "Ministry of Finance a.k.a Depkeu". I don't expect anything but trying to do the best during both test. That's where my journey begins...

I've got the blessing to be accepted in one of the lawfirm in jakarta (R&P) and also I passed stage by stage of the Deplu and Depkeu test. On October, finally I resigned from the property company and on November I started to join R&P. But at the same time I have to struggle to follow the last step of Deplu which empat tes yang melelahkan dalam satu minggu tetapi untungnya tes tahap terakhir itu pas minggu terakhir di kantor gue yang gue bayangkan ga akan merepotkan gue. Tapi ternyata gue salah, justru minggu terakhir gue pontang-panting buat hand over kerjaan yang belum selesai dan juga konsentrasi ngikutin empat tes itu. Well,,,I've managed to get through that horible week T.T.

Early on November, I started new job position, new place, new surrounding di BEI,,,kinda lonely and feel outsider at first but I took it as my consequences in taking the decision of leaving my provious job. A month later, I got my dissapointment, I was failed at the last test of Deplu. I felt flat at first but then I realized how dissapointed I was because of all the efforts that I have done for couples of month before. But after I cried (yeah,,,true) then I realized that God has another plan for me and there'll be reason and lesson for everything that we've done and what has God gave us (whether it is happiness or failure). Maybe I was not qualified enough to be at that position, I have to learn my lesson and learn to accept the failure and dissapointment. Some of my closest friends supported me like a lot (thanks guys,,,really appreciate it).

It's about a week later, there're announcement for Depkeu next test which also I passed it. That was a good news for me but also I have to struggle to follow the test during my new placement at my new job. In one month, I have to follow two test which is health test and the interview. Learning for my failure at Deplu, I tried not to make the same mistake like what I have done before. I gained my confidence step by step and finally the result is announced,,,,I was Passed ^.^ thanks to Allah SWT for giving me the opportunity to serve the nation.

And it's the time of truth, where I can not go back or regret what I have decided...Entering this ministry which holds big responsibilities in managed the financial sector of this country maybe too big for me, but with good intention and willing to do the best not only for my family , but also for the nation with guard from Allah SWT, that's a good start to enter the new chapter of my life...


xoxo
ara